Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Pilgrim....something? 6/7/11

I walk into my bedroom and my wife starts this conversation.... I am typing what I heard

Wife: "Honey?"

Wife: " Honey"

ME: " Yes?

Wife: " Did you get the pill tower"

Me: " The what?"

Wife: " The pil ( the rest was mumbled)"

Me: " The pillow?"

Wife: " No. The pilgrim tower... The one with music"

Me: " No I didn't get it"

Wife: " Oh where's my cell phone?"

The end.... I then tried to figure out what the heck a pilgrim tower was....if that is really what she was saying and why some would have music and others wouldn't

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Fruit Loops

This one is in my top two that has happened.... it might be #1. I hope you enjoy it almost as much as I did.

Wife: " I don't Like Fruit Loops"

Me: " ..... What?"

Wife: " I don't like Fruit Loops"

Me: " Why?"

Wife: " Because of how the feel, their texture, Yuck"

Me: " I see"

Wife starts laughing hysterically

Me: " What's so funny?"

Wife: " You're going to get stuck"

Me : " I'm going to get stuck?"

Wife: " You're going to get stuck. You can't fit through it."

Me: " What? Where do I get stuck?"

Wife: " You're going to get it stuck on your toe. You can't fit through a Fruit Loop"

Me: "........"

Yes this one is my favorite

Red Dot- 5/29/11

This happened last night. this one really doesn't make sense.

Wife: " I can't tell what it is"

Me: " what?"

Wife: " It's either a red dot or a red spot"

Me: " Oh"

Wife: " It's 5 by 10"

Me: " Um.... I don't know"

Wife: " I guess it's supposed to be really good"

Me: " ........ I'm going back to sleep"

This one really had me confused

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

stuffed animal

My wife was in bed sleeping and I was in the living room watching tv. I heard her calling for me so I went in to see what she needed.

Me: " What is it?"

Wife: " I need my stuffed animal"

Me: " Um.... ok.... what kind is it?"

Wife: " It's a dog maybe a puppy"

At this point I decided to play with her a little bit so I knelt down by the bed

Me: " Well what would you like it to be a dog or a puppy?"

Wife: " Puppy"

Me: " Well I think it's in Caleb's room. is it ok if he sleeps with it tonight?"

Wife: (nods her head)

Me: " Ok. Good night babe"

I love that girl

Butter

My Wife was already in bed asleep and I was just getting into bed when this gem happened

Wife: "I didn't know you liked butter" 

Me: "What?"

Wife: " I didn't know you liked butter"

Me: "...... Yeah... I do" 

Wife: " Oh are you going to the store?"

Me: " What?"

Wife: " will you get some pot scrubbers?"

Me: " Pot scrubbers?"

Wife: " But not the steel wool kind the other kind"

Me: "Um...Ok"

Wife: " we need at least 10"

Me: "10 Pot scrubbers?"

Wife: " oh are you back already?"

Me: " Um...." 

Wife: " Did you get the Pot scrubbers?"

That was the end of it.  I will point out that the next day we were at the store and she said that we need to get pot scrubbers.

something green in the corner

One night I woke up to a loud gasp coming from my wife I open my eyes and she is sitting up staring at the corner of the ceiling.

Me: " what is it?"

Wife: "there is something green hanging from the ceiling?"

Me: " what?"

Wife: "There is something green hanging from the ceiling"

Me: (looking up in the corner) "Um...ok"

Wife: "I'm serious it's there in the corner"

Me: (laying back down) "Well it's not there anymore"

Wife: (laying back down) " I thought we had taken them all down"

Me: " um.... well I guess we missed one"

Wife: " Yeah"

I am still trying to figure out what she was dreaming about and what the green things were.

why I am doing this

So at least twice a week my wife talks in her sleep and the things she says are hilarious. I would remember them and tell them to friends when last night I was told I should start a blog and post all the things she says at night and I thought it was a darn good idea.

The first few that I post are in no particular order cause I only remember the stories not which one came first but they are hilarious and yes I have her permission to do this blog... She even helped get it started.

I will post the previous stories and then the ones that happen from here on out I will put the date with them and they will be in order.  Enjoy!